Recently, i feel that life has been so full of rejection, disappointment and lost of hope. Its like you work so hard to achieve your goal but reality doesnt work that way. You try so hard to be ahead of society but somehow or another, the world eats you up before you know it. Thinking about my unsuccesful appeals to the course i want and landing into a course that im honestly not very excited for, it just sucks. I've been replaying back memories of my sec 4 life, thinking what have i done wrong, what i could have done more... I really did my best, but my best always is not enough. I'm sick of always telling myself oh there's a reason for this and that, because im starting to worry that that's just an excuse for me to feel better. I dont know what im suppose to feel now, i only know how to work hard. Im fearful that my effort would not be enough/recognised. Its just tough, life is wicked tough. When i was young i felt that nothing in this world could beat me, but now at this point i feel that theres nothing in this world that i could beat. The whole perspective is turned now, im lost for directions. I wish life wasnt this harsh for me.