Imbecile

Saturday, September 18, 2010 @ 10:26 PM

"You can deceive others; but you cant deceive yourself"

I hate myself, i really do.

This isnt me, this is not who i am.

I want to go back to the times when i was just so so so happy all the time,

i want to be that innocent me again, i want to be the girl who isnt so weak and fragile now.

I hate myself, i mean it.

Sometimes i wonder what went wrong along the way,

aren't people suppose to grow stronger when they are older?

Yet i'm becoming a person that dont even know who she is anymore.

I hate it, i hate all of it.

Right now, i truly feel like going some place else, leave this place that no longer hold so much fun memories. Though i know that i have good friends with me, yet i still feel distanced from them.

It dawned on me that i never truly had a friend who loves me as much i love them. I never had that special friend that brings the best out of me. I just want to pack up, and get on the plane and fly somewhere else. I want to rediscover myself, realise who i really am again.

This place holds soo much fond memories but at the same time bad memories. And i guess that how i slowly lost control of myself. I stare at the mirror and i totally dont feel like that person in the mirror. who am i? i'm so not like myself, nothing like myself.

so far out of reach